OK. Last week, I said I would break this Life Lessons concept apart to buy myself more time to think about what I’ve actually learned about relationships worth repeating.
Well here it is.
Stay away from men who have a lot of female “friends.”
That is, if you can resist them.
That’s the thing about men with a lot of female “friends”–they’re usually super charming, sexy, sensitive, attentive, etc. That’s why they have so many “friends.”
The reason why I say stay away from these types of men is that men don’t define “friends” the way we do. Or at least, not the way I do.
To me, a friend = someone with whom I am not flirting, feeling in “that” way or becoming close on multiple levels with.
I don’t know why I have such a stringent definition of friendship, but in my mind and heart, if we are crossing “that” line, we are crossing between categories too. I’m not sayin we’re necessarily boyfriend girlfriend, but if we becoming closer in “that” way, I no longer count you or refer to you as my friend. Sometimes, I begin to count you among my enemies. But that’s neither here nor there.
NOT THE CASE WITH MEN.
Let’s recap before moving on. Women (or at least me): Friend = with whom I am not flirting, feeling in “that” way or becoming close on multiple levels with.
Friend = everyone.
And if you’re lettin him hit, shoot, that just shows him how friendly you are.
It is never safe to assume that you are on some kind of elevated status to a man who has a lot of female “friends.” He may spend time with you, look at you, make you feel all special, but if you are not his girlfriend (and sometimes even if you are), please believe that when you call or text him while he’s with another one of his “friends” and she asks who you are…
“Oh…just a friend.”
Now, IF YOU CAN HANDLE THAT:
By all means, go for it. When they’re with you, men who have a lot of female “friends” have a way of making you feel so good. They’re smooth. They’re not awkward with their conversation or body language like a guy who doesn’t spend a lot of time around girls.
if you’re like me (i.e. prone to do something crazy), I beg you: Stay away! Keep your legs crossed, your mouth closed and your hands to yourself at all costs!
Next life lesson to come: How to keep your whites white and avoid bleach stains on your towels (I’m serious).