Antidepressants (antidepressents?)

I woke this morning slightly nauseous from a night of binge drinking. I’d like to say it was an accident, but I wanted to get kind of wasted because I was upset about men and life in general and drinking and partying is one of the quickest ways I know to relieve that tension.

I woke this morning, slightly nauseous, to a text from a colleague over at TheInternView that read (I never know whether it’s read, wrote or said since the text itself is performing none of these actions. Possibly stated?)

“Do you think we can change the world?”

I woke, slightly nauseous due to a slight hangover, to a text asking me if I think I could change the world this morning.

And I tried to avoid answering it. I replied, “Well I definitely think yall think you can.”

But of course that didn’t work.

Do I think I can change the world? What a question to wake to when you’re already nauseous from a night that you felt you needed because you can’t even change one man’s mind or heart, or your bank account balance, or your own patterns of behavior.

And then, this morning, I was talking to one of my really good friends about antidepressants (ents? >>>I really should just spell check, I don’t know why I don’t).

She was saying how they’d really helped her situation. I was saying how I don’t see how they’re any different than drinking or smoking. I know there are plenty of doctors who will go all SERATONIN and BRAIN INHIBITOR and DOPAMINE on me, but I stand by what I said. It’s all addiction to something that’s supposed to numb the pain. It just reminded me of that Lilly Allen song, “Everyone’s At It.”

I keep thinking about how inherently wrong something must be with our society if everyone feels the need to self-medicate. If we are all at the point where we can’t function without a lil some-some (our drug of choice), then it’s our lifestyle that is wrong, not us. We shouldn’t be changing here, adding things there to better fit our lifestyles, we should be examining our lives and looking at what needs to change to make it better fit us.

Do I think I can change the world? Our world is very institutionalized; I don’t know. But it’s worth a try…it’s worth it to get out and start talking to people and listening to people and doing things to change the things I’m always complaining about…if for no other reason than to feel more smug when I’m complaining.

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7 responses to “Antidepressants (antidepressents?)

  1. Life isn’t worth living if you can’t feel it! The moments of the greatest pain, the greatest joy, the greatest confusion….those are the moments you feel most acutely alive. Don’t numb it with anything…feel it and live it!

  2. I think when people talk about “changing the world” it can be overwhelming. If someone were to ask me that I would say the same, “it’s worth a try” or “I can try”. I think there is hope with starting with changing ourselves first, then one person at a time, then the masses. I truly feel many can be reached but some will just stay the same.

    • Yeah…”changing the world” is such a big thought. I used to think “why bother” because of how complex our power systems are, but just meeting people who care enough to spend their time working on the things they believe in has really made me feel that simple actions are worth doing because of the way they affect (effect?) individuals

  3. Been there, did that, put the toys away a long time age. All the parties in the world will not make your problems go away. All that happens is you wake up feeling like you have been pooed on from a great altitude with the same problems still staring you in the face. Ditto to the pills that the doctors push at the drop of a hat. Another question on the doctors and the pills is, if you plan on a career will you want that record of clinical depression following you about?

    On changing the world, we all change the world by acts little and large. By living your life and doing the honest and ethical things every day you make the world a better place. You may not become famous by doing so, but who knows what fate has in store for us, stranger things happen all the time!

    • yeah the record thing is another deterrant (ent?), but overall it’s just the dependency that bothers me about the pills. But yeah! Small acts really do have the potential to make a difference…I guess it’s just about not becoming discouraged

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