I woke this morning slightly nauseous from a night of binge drinking. I’d like to say it was an accident, but I wanted to get kind of wasted because I was upset about men and life in general and drinking and partying is one of the quickest ways I know to relieve that tension.
I woke this morning, slightly nauseous, to a text from a colleague over at TheInternView that read (I never know whether it’s read, wrote or said since the text itself is performing none of these actions. Possibly stated?)
“Do you think we can change the world?”
I woke, slightly nauseous due to a slight hangover, to a text asking me if I think I could change the world this morning.
And I tried to avoid answering it. I replied, “Well I definitely think yall think you can.”
But of course that didn’t work.
Do I think I can change the world? What a question to wake to when you’re already nauseous from a night that you felt you needed because you can’t even change one man’s mind or heart, or your bank account balance, or your own patterns of behavior.
And then, this morning, I was talking to one of my really good friends about antidepressants (ents? >>>I really should just spell check, I don’t know why I don’t).
She was saying how they’d really helped her situation. I was saying how I don’t see how they’re any different than drinking or smoking. I know there are plenty of doctors who will go all SERATONIN and BRAIN INHIBITOR and DOPAMINE on me, but I stand by what I said. It’s all addiction to something that’s supposed to numb the pain. It just reminded me of that Lilly Allen song, “Everyone’s At It.”
I keep thinking about how inherently wrong something must be with our society if everyone feels the need to self-medicate. If we are all at the point where we can’t function without a lil some-some (our drug of choice), then it’s our lifestyle that is wrong, not us. We shouldn’t be changing here, adding things there to better fit our lifestyles, we should be examining our lives and looking at what needs to change to make it better fit us.
Do I think I can change the world? Our world is very institutionalized; I don’t know. But it’s worth a try…it’s worth it to get out and start talking to people and listening to people and doing things to change the things I’m always complaining about…if for no other reason than to feel more smug when I’m complaining.