The Flip Side: Not All Dads are DeadBeats

Maybe it’s because I’m a journalism major (oh–excuse me. I WAS a journalism major when I was doing my undergrad [last week].), but I try to understand the flip side of every perspective. And because I was man-bashing last night, I’d like to present a scenario that someone who I love very much is going through right now involving a baby mama with no goals.

Yes, it’s true that in a lot of cases, we women give men the power to completely break us down and ruin our lives.

But it is also true that in a small subsect of situations, the laws of our grand institution give women the right to destroy a man’s credit, put him in jail and plummet his standard of living by affecting his chances at achieving gainful employment completely consequence-free. Their WMD?


Don’t get me wrong. I was raised by a single mother. She worked her ass off to provide me and my brother with a life because she couldn’t depend on our father. I’m not saying that doesn’t happen, and I’m not trying to invalidate the struggle of women who are trying to raise a child alone or of women and men who are trying to raise a child together.

All I’m saying is that sometimes, sometimes, it’s not always safe to assume that the man in a situation is a dead beat. Every now and then you really do run into women with no goals or hobbies, and those women have the power, legally, to destroy severely complicate a man’s life while doing nothing more to better the lives of herself and her child than repeatedly taking her baby daddy to court, renewing her welfare, Medicaid and TANiF paperwork, and generating the sympathies of everyone around her by bashing the baby daddy to anyone who will listen.

And we will listen.

I know, I KNOW it’s not always the case and it may not even often be the case and it’s probably NEVER as simple as I just made it, but I just wanted to say for the young man who I love very much and who I see trying to get himself together while I watch his baby mama live with her parents, work at a minimum-wage job part time and collect a host of social services, that not every dad who is not with the mom is a deadbeat dad.

Feel free to tear this post apart.

Now that you hate me, gear up to feel sorry for me here.


One response to “The Flip Side: Not All Dads are DeadBeats

  1. Pingback: The EMOtioner and the emoSHUNee | Bryoneyh's Blog

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