Some Life Lessons I’ve Gathered in 24 Years, Pt. 2


OK. Last week, I said I would break this Life Lessons concept apart to buy myself more time to think about what I’ve actually learned about relationships worth repeating.

Well here it is.

Stay away from men who have a lot of female “friends.”

That is, if you can resist them.

That’s the thing about men with a lot of female “friends”–they’re usually super charming, sexy, sensitive, attentive, etc. That’s why they have so many “friends.”

The reason why I say stay away from these types of men is that men don’t define “friends” the way we do. Or at least, not the way I do.

To me, a friend = someone with whom I am not flirting, feeling in “that” way or becoming close on multiple levels with.

I don’t know why I have such a stringent definition of friendship, but in my mind and heart, if we are crossing “that” line, we are crossing between categories too.  I’m not sayin we’re necessarily boyfriend girlfriend, but if we becoming closer in “that” way, I no longer count you or refer to you as my friend. Sometimes, I begin to count you among my enemies. But that’s neither here nor there.


Let’s recap before moving on. Women (or at least me): Friend = with whom I am not flirting, feeling in “that” way or becoming close on multiple levels with.


Now men.

Friend = everyone.

The end.

And if you’re lettin him hit, shoot, that just shows him how friendly you are.

It is never safe to assume that you are on some kind of elevated status to a man who has a lot of female “friends.” He may spend time with you, look at you, make you feel all special, but if you are not his girlfriend (and sometimes even if you are), please believe that when you call or text him while he’s with another one of his “friends” and she asks who you are…

“Oh…just a friend.”


By all means, go for it. When they’re with you, men who have a lot of female “friends” have a way of making you feel so good. They’re smooth. They’re not awkward with their conversation or body language like a guy who doesn’t spend a lot of time around girls.


if you’re like me (i.e. prone to do something crazy), I beg you: Stay away! Keep your legs crossed, your mouth closed and your hands to yourself at all costs!

Next life lesson to come: How to keep your whites white and avoid bleach stains on your towels (I’m serious).


7 responses to “Some Life Lessons I’ve Gathered in 24 Years, Pt. 2

  1. Lmao @ “Now men. Friend = everyone. The end.” Girl you are soooo on point w/ this. Cause in the end if he’s “friendly” with other girls like he is “friendly” w/ you and you’re really into him you’re the one that gets hurt. Been there, done that, and went crazy too.

  2. Very enlightening post… At least for me. Its not that men try to be inconsiderate (however there are the occasional douche bags) Its just that friend zone is the only thing that can keep a man sane! Trying to figure out women and more specifically our position in relation to said woman is like trying to rope a tornado. All you come out of it with is a hurt sense of pride and not a single solid foundation for miles….

    • do you have a blog? you seem like you write…i don’t think anyone tries to be inconsiderate…that would require consideration…i guess our different experiences have led to differing perspectives…it’s confusing on either end lol

  3. I’ve thought about joining the “game.” If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? Having several “friends” at once. But, call me soft, I just can’t do it. What happens if I start to really fall for one of my “friends” but he’s not taking ME seriously because I got all those other friends on the side? Or, I end up hurting someone (which I don’t want to do because I’ve had it happen to me and I know how much it sucks!) But guys don’t seem to think that way. It’s almost like they see us girls as dispensible. I think Gucci Mane summed it up in his song “Break Up”: “Girls are like buses, miss one, next 15, one comin.”

    • dang gucci mayne…i ain’t mad at him lol…i’m the same way, like, i don’t like dating multiple dudes at the same time and i don’t like lying…i think it is possible to strike a balance…i just haven’t found it lol

  4. Pingback: Some Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 24 Years Pt. 3 | Bryoneyh's Blog

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