Holy Crap I Think The GREs are Actually Going to Be Really Difficult

 

Not hard.

Difficult.

It’s a crucial difference that you will most likely have to demonstrate your understanding of in the analogy portion of the GRE.

Yeah right. If only life were so simple.

Let me tell you guys the story of Bryoneyh and Grad School.

Once upon a time, circa March 2010, Bryoneyh was trying to wrap up all of her undergrad loose ends. Bryoneyh was an English major at that time, and so she knew she would at some point have to go to grad school.

But Bryoneyh figured she would take her undergraduate debt and travel across the world, blogging and climbing mountains and milking cows and flirting in foreign languages for a while first.

Over the summer, however, when Bryoneyh couldn’t work full time because she was finishing up her last undergraduate class, and wasn’t eligible for any more financial aid, Bryoneyh learned a very valuable lesson called “Having Money is Vital to Everything from Eating to Doing Laundry and You Ain’t Gettin Nowhere Cross the World Without It.”

So Bryoneyh had to reevaluate her plans–i.e. start applying for jobs. After a couple months of gut-wrenching uncertainty and hawk-eyed scrutiny of her spending habits, Bryoneyh was blessed enough to land a job at her undergraduate university, a glorious place that, as part of the benefits package of being a full-time employee, will pay your tuition after a year of working full time.

In doing the math, Bryoneyh realized two things: 1) As she was planning to take Master’s classes only part time, it would actually take her between 3 and 4 years to finish her degree and 2) she would actually be making enough money to pay for one or two classes a semester before her benefits kicked in.

Bryoneyh therefore decided that she wanted to start grad school immediately, and went about it in the same manner she goes about executing all of her major life decisions from getting her glorious Samsung Epic phone to finding a new apartment: she got online.

And realized that she needed to have all of her application materials, including GRE scores, in to her school by November 1.

This was oh, about September 20, and Bryoneyh hadn’t given a second thought to the GREs since mid summer, when she and a friend briefly met for “GRE Study Sessions,” AKA Lets Eat Taco Bell and Gossip For an Hour.

Bryoneyh wasn’t worried at all, however, because if there’s one thing Bryoneyh was secure in the knowledge of, it’s that Bryoneyh knows everything, especially everything English-related.

Until today.

When Bryoneyh got a GRE-prep email from Kaplan that looked like this:

“…we thought you might like a little sample of what you’ll see at the event. Here’s an actual Analogies question from the Verbal section of the GRE Practice Test you’ll be taking:

  LAVISH : SPARTAN

(A) perforated : punctured
(B) perfidious : artless
(C) decorous : tinted
(D) unadorned : bare
(E) extravagant : lively”

At which point Bryoneyh’s heart started pounding because she had blithely signed up for the October 23 GRE and hadn’t opened not-a one GRE preparation material, confident in her knowledge that she knows everything, knowledge that was now been shaken.

The end.

…or did I?

But what the crap is that, seriously. I don’t see in what way any of those words are analogous to the initial pairing. Do y’all? Because what I got was luxurious is to brave as a) ripped is to ripped b) deceitful is to tacky c) proper is to darker d) bare is to bare or e) extravagant is to lively.

OK. Well, I guess I would go with e based on the breakdown above, but seriously I had to dictionary.com “perfidious” and I read the root of “decorous” as “decorated” not “decorum” so now I’m freaking out and I kinda think the GRE might actually be difficult and I’m kinda open to the thought that maybe, maybe I don’t know everything and probably should be studying over the next two weeks.

So, I-I-I-I-I-I’ll be–on it all night man I’ll be on it all day, straight up, pimp if you want me you can find me holdin A–study guide. Study guide.

Crap.

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8 responses to “Holy Crap I Think The GREs are Actually Going to Be Really Difficult

  1. Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
    B. perfidious : artless

    Reason: Lavish means “using or giving in great amounts; prodigal” and spartan means “self-disciplined; frugal” – these are antonyms.

    Perfidious means “deliberately faithless; deceitful” while artless means “free from deceit” – these are antonyms.

    I would choose answer choice B.
    Source(s):

  2. ummm yeah…I suck at taking tests. And I especially suck at the GRE.

    Good luck!

    -Lucky

  3. Oh man this was epic… I can almost imagine the look on your face when you first thumbed through your sample book. AAAND I would suggest D but since I normally defer to your knowledge of the English language take my suggestions with a grain of salt.

  4. haha i thought the same thing! iwas going to try and take the gre before i took the FE. luckily i looked at the sample before signing up. and it made me realize i’ve been letting my wonderful, magniloquent, diverse vocabulary fall to the wayside. And that’s when i decided to resurrect my IB, i grew up in Germany where they teach excellence, i’ve read almost every shakespeare work by the age of 15, proper English. LoL. i don think anyone noticed tho šŸ˜¦ lol

    you’ll do great by the way!!

  5. You’ve always struck me as someone who’s well-read =) …I have issues with Shakespeare being upheld the way he is though…[you know i have a rant for everything] For one it really pissed me off that I had to take both British Literature, where Shakespeare’s sonnets were taught, and then a whole other separate class specifically on Shakespeare to get my English degree (but African-American literature is just an elective–I know it’s the whole cannon thing but I think A.A. literature should be canonized as well, more than just Langston Hughes, A Raisin in the Sun, Zora Neale Hurston and Toni Morrison). For another, how do we really know he was the best? Maybe he’s just the only surviving. But I will concede that his writing is really clever and he’s like amazing with the wordplay…wordplay-heavy rappers like Lil Wayne and Luda could learn from him lol

  6. Pingback: The Power of Prayer to Help With the GRE | Bryoneyh's Blog

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