Say It In a Song: I Do NOT Apologize, Sir

What a cliché title,

I know.

Last night I popped a bottle of champagne and celebrated the fact that…it was Friday in my life. And the life I have right now is one worth celebrating. The choices I’ve made this summer have shown me a lot about myself and my values, and I’m coming to a point where I pretty much like the person I am.

Which merits a bottle of champagne, I do believe.

Anyway, I have a story I want to tell, but because I don’t want to bog y’all down with another 1000-word post, I figured I’d say it in a song.

Well, a few songs.

So, OK. This week pretty much marks the 1-year anniversary of me ending the most fucked up, crazy..er…”situation” I ever had with another human being.

It was short, but it was terrible, and it left an impression on me that I carried like a scarlet A for the whole of the past year.

Until yesterday, when the other member of this fucked up situation hit me up to let me know he was in town.

And of course, my hands immediately got cold and I got those million tiny shakes that you get when you don’t know if you’re nervous or scared or pissed off that this mofo thinks it’s cool to just casually let hit you up when he’s in town like y’all are cool after the way he’s treated you.

So I used my sharp writer wit and said something quick and biting in response. To which he, grandiloquent as ever, replied, “WTH?”

And I promptly apologized. Because maybe I was taking it too far. Because maybe I was being a jerk for treating him like a jerk. Because I didn’t want to be the reason we weren’t cool.

But I thought about it, and that apology didn’t sit well with me. Because I really wasn’t sorry treating a jerk like a jerk. And I wouldn’t treat him like a jerk if he hadn’t behaved like one. And I’m through with apologizing for being me in general! Yeah! I’m through with trying my hardest to be inoffensive and appeasing! You know what, I’m nice but I’m not a damn doormat and I’M NOT SORRY IF YOU BEING A JERK CAUSED ME TO BE A JERK BECAUSE WHEN YOU’RE NICE TO ME I’M A HUGE SWEETHEART!

So, like 6 hours later, I texted him something to the effect of, “You know what? I thought about it, and I’m not sorry for that comment I made earlier. Think what you want; I’m over worrying about how you perceive me.”

To which, of course, he replied, “What the hell?”

But so what. After I sent that text I felt so damn

free.

And I realized that part of my life was truly over. I’d survived. And I’d let it make me better. I’d made it through one of my darkest times, and now could finally say

here comes the sun.

Which got me thinking about the type of woman I am and why I have to be selective with those I let near. Because I am the type of woman whose company will

upgrade you,

So it only makes sense that I’d keep company with those who are eager to follow through on their

Promise.

So, whatever you’re going through, just know that in enough time you really will have made it through and out to the other side, and that you have the power to let it make you better.

=)

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3 responses to “Say It In a Song: I Do NOT Apologize, Sir

  1. This explains the posts on f/b… which were very VERY entertaining by the way. This post has a lot of lessons for both sexes to grow from.

    • lol…for those who are interested he’s referring to one of particular note that was fueled by a bottle and a half of cheap champagne and said: ” Eff you and your beautiful children and your submissive, needin aa green card wife yea I said it”

  2. Pingback: Letting it all Go | Bryoneyh's Blog

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