Monthly Archives: July 2012


I was just in my bathroom pre-pooing my hair (BTW when did we start conditioning our hair before we wash it? I been natural 3 years and this is the first year I heard that terminology).


I was just in the bathroom pre-pooing my hair and it occurred to me: why the hell do people tout the wash-n-go for natural hair? When I first did my Big Chop, everyone told me “oh now you can wash n go like the white girls,” and I was thrilled, but you know what I had to deal with? Chronically dry hair that would lead to breaking.

When I was relaxed, a beautician once told me that our hair grows better when it’s dirty because all of the oils get the chance to store and I ascribed to that because it was convenient and do you know what? My freaking hair shot out of my freaking head. It was ridiculous; my hair would grow and it would grow fast and it would grow healthy from root to tip.

Since being natural, split ends have been a huge problem with me, as has keeping my hair moisturized, and a while ago it clicked: at least one of the contributing factors to this problem is the fact that I am over-washing my hair (and even co-washing it). 

When relaxed, never liked the way my hair looked until at least like day 4 after a wash; that’s right around when all the products are setting in and it’s starting to be trained. Since I’ve gone back to my pre-natural washing schedule, I have noticed the same in my natural hair–the dirtier it gets, the better it looks and feels. 

So I am just throwing it out there as an alternative–even the co-washes every couple days might be too much for your hair. I mean after all, keeping natural hair moisturized is a pretty widely-acknowledged issue in the natural community. Maybe if your natural hair is chronically dry like mine tends to get, try letting it keep the oils it’s accumulated for a while. 


Midnight Wit


There is this, like, women’s Christian blogger/tweeter named @heatherlove that I follow, and I really like her mainly because I like the way she talks. I like her voice (y’all writers know what I mean).

And my absolute favorite thing about her is that she calls all men that you know you’re not going to marry “randoms.” I think this is freaking brilliant, like epiphany-level shit. Yes. Let’s distinguish. Not every motherfucker you meet or date or whatever deserves a name.

As my guy friend D would say, first of all, no guy is special.

But beyond that, some of these mofos are just downright not that important or memorable. And it doesn’t have to be about liking them or disliking them, it’s just about that feeling that you have about someone before you cover it with other shit like “oh but I like him”; it’s just about that initial feeling that instantly tells you “oh this fool is temporary.”

That, my friends, is what constitutes a Random, or rando as I like to call them for short.

Randal the Random if I’m trying to be funny.

Anyway I said all that to say that tonight I was talking to a random on fb and he was saying that he couldn’t sleep and I told him to do something productive. He goes “I can’t.” I ask why.

“Because you’re not here with me.”

At which point I had to pause and ask myself two things: 1) does this rando know the meaning of “productive”? and 2) do I want to call him on this?

Well maybe because earlier this week I was pretty damn rude to a guy and thought I perhaps didn’t have to be so rude (left in the middle of a hangout sesh bc he wouldn’t rub my back [it’s not that simple, but so what if it is it’s not that hard to rub a beautiful woman’s back and anyway what was I doing in the middle of a hangout sesh that should have been a date ANYWAY]), I decided to take the elegant route:

Me: …productive? haha not REproductive, productive (in my mind: fool).

Situation: diffused. And I’d like to think I made a difference in his life. Which ironically would have made our conversation pretty damn productive. For him.


I am soooo much better when I am writing. Face-to-face interaction is just waayy too immediate for me.


Irritated and Over Exposed

Today, I went to the store and I got a banana, yogurt, a spoon and water. I set them on my desk at work and meant for them to be my snacks in class tonight. Later, as I pulled into the parking garage,  I realized that I had the yogurt and banana, but not the water or the spoon.

This pretty much sums up where I am in life right now.

Thirsty and without the proper utensils.

I don’t really miss being a kid, except that I miss things being simple and short-term. I’ve been engaging in this dialogue with this really pretentious guy who ironically called me pretentious yesterday after I beat him in linguistics (he didn’t know we were competing) about exercise and the one thing he keeps repeating to me is “you’re not young anymore.”

Over and over.

Your body’s changing. You’re not young anymore. We’re not spring chickens.

And every time he repeats this, it strikes this chord of frustration in me, like somewhere between my heart and my belly there’s this burning feeling that intensifies just a teensie bit every time he says “you’re not young anymore.”

…da fuq?

When did I get not young anymore?

But…like my body is not a kid’s body anymore. It doesn’t run the way it used to when I was a kid. And this is freaking me out because it’s all downhill from here. I’m 25 and I don’t feel like a kid physically; shudder to think what it will be when I’m 40. Or when I have a child, dear God.

And my mind… mind is finally starting to grapple with the fact that shit is complex out there. And ongoing. When I was a kid we moved every year, so every year old stuff stopped and new stuff started. Now, I’ve been living in the same city four and a half years and there’s facebook and nothing and nobody ever goes away. I never disappear. Shit is just always somewhere still existing, still playing out. People go away…but then they come back. It’s not so neat. I miss the days when it was.


Only You

So I took a road trip this weekend with my friend K. She’s one of my best friends and basically my partner in crime, except that we don’t commit no crimes. And what I mean by don’t commit no crimes is that we don’t get caught.


on the drive back we were talking about boys (briefly) (oh I guess I mean men). And I was telling her that the only time that I ever really want a boyfriend is when I don’t have a best friend. Like, when I’m really lonely. And she was kind of saying something similar, except that I’ve never known her to want a boyfriend haha.

Well to wrap things up, today I was preparing to study for my class (dickin around on the internet), and I found this. So, this song is dedicated to my wonderful friends.

I think it fits.