Arms out

Yesterday I had a talk with my dear friend K, who is off living her dreams and conquering the world. She was asking me about when I was going to live my dreams and conquer the world. My answer was of course 

“I dunno, I dunno, I dunno. Soon? I think I may have to wait.”

But one of my favorite things about K is that she is really really good at knocking down excuses, and really good at encouraging you to just cut the crap and follow your dreams.

So I just sucked it up and promised that I would be in Asia in no more than three weeks. Then I put my car for sale on Craigslist.

It was hard. I have been hesitant to do it because…I don’t know. It’s…it’s just mine. It’s my last vestige of…I don’t know. Being independent. Once I sell that car then I am fully trusting….really, my mom to let me borrow her car. But also…how do I articulate it? After that, I quite concretely have no way out. No transportation. I’m stripped bare and am totally out there, fully committed to making this travel dream come true.

Because why else would I sell it, except to get the money to spend on travel?

I’ve had a rough history with cars–this is really the first one I’ve owned that’s just been everything that I’ve ever wanted in a car, and that has afforded me just so much peace of mind. And freedom. Not owning a car shrinks your world to places you can walk/bike to, or else you’re dependent on somebody else. I’m already swallowing my pride by moving back in with my mom–I really don’t want to have to depend on folks for driving. 

But, you know what they say.

When you’re refusing to let something out, that means you’re blocking something from coming in.

When you’ve got your hand closed around something, no one can put anything in it.

I promised K that I would be in Asia in no more than three weeks, and I put my car on Craigslist. And about two hours later, I got my Notice of Appointment.

And in the span of about a day, I’ve had about 10 people contact me about this car.

And then I got my heavy jacket that I ordered especially for Korea–the one that I have been waiting to arrive the entire month.

It all came snowballing in during the course of one day, and the only thing I can think is that when I surrendered, when I let that last bit go, it opened me up to receive.

Of course some can argue for coincidence,

but I prefer that freaky space $#*t

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