Monthly Archives: September 2013

Be careful what you buy….

Warning: mommy–you probably don’t want to read further.

I live in a small city in Korea, that happens to be the biggest in my province. This means that I have access to the high life, for an expat living in Korea–hot yoga, an Indian restaurant, and a direct route to both Seoul and Busan (not to mention things like alternate routes and many other foreigners). 

But what is arguably the biggest deal about living in my little big city is the presence of Korea’s holy trinity of megastores: Lotte Mart, HomePlus, and EMart.

Between the three, I always know that if push comes to shove, I can find western-style bacon, way underripe avocadoes, overpriced salsa, and non-honey mustard (although never, NEVER, cilantro).

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This friday, I even found the gem above at EMart this friday–glory of all glories. For the first time in seven months (outside of vacation), my thirst has been properly quenched. 

The thing about megastores is they seem to be all alike. You take your purchases to the check-out aisle, and there you find a random assortment of candy and magazines and other things designed to make sure you don’t stick to your list or budget. 

So I’m standing there in this aisle, nervous because I’m already over budget….when I see a 12-pack of condoms just sitting there.

Now, I’m a modern lady. You never know what could happen. It’s always good to be prepared to protect yourself. 

So I’m standing there weighing this thing out: yes, I’m single. No, I don’t have any immediate prospects. Yes, I’m already over budget.

But….condoms.

In the end, something with even brighter packaging caught my eye (a hot pink loofah!) and so I pick that up instead,

turn around,

and am literally facing three of my middle school students with their “Hi teacher!”s and their “I love you!”s.

I nearly almost died from embarrassment from the narrowly-avoided fiasco that so easily could have been running smack dab into three of my students while holding condoms. It was literally so immediate that I would NOT have had time to drop them in the cart–not that it would have mattered, since the students stared into my cart and asked me what I was buying.

Then when I got home one of my more nosy neighbors (the kind of creepy guy who always pops up when you’re a single woman living alone) was also looking into my bags.

The moral of this story?

Be careful what you buy! Students have a funny way of popping up at the worst possible moment.

Oh,

Also my city has a sex shop.

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