Life in South Korea can really put you out of touch with “reality,” as it stands. Since I’ve been here, I’ve experienced so many highs, insane highs, highs like scuba diving in the philippines highs. I’ve also experienced lows, insane lows, lows like “I’m afraid to apply for jobs now because maybe it was me, maybe I’m just truly awful to work with and lazy and mean and that’s why my supervisor hates me.”
But what I hadn’t experienced in most of my time here is groundedness–that “down to earth” feeling that you experience when you’re cooking dinner at home and cleaning your apartment and managing your budget and pursuing activities and interests and thinking about your goals and future plans.
In the past month or two, however, I’ve started to get glimpses of a more “down to earth” me peeking through. She’s kind of tired of getting wasted and overspending and traveling every weekend. She wants to look up muffin recipes, and she misses writing and editing.
Part of this is myself, definitely. It’s difficult…because all aspects of life are “real.” I’m really alive; I’m really breathing; I’m really typing on the computer at this moment. But at the same time, a life of partying and shopping and one-year contracts at a time…well it’s not in line with the sense of groundedness that we associate with an actual, “real” life.
So part of this is definitely myself disassociating myself from the waygooks who are either 24 and perfectly within their lane to blow a year or two before setting down, or the dreaded career waygooks who are in their very late 20s or 30s, who have been doing one-year contracts for many years, and who seem to suffer from a bit of a Peter Pan complex.
Part of this is myself, but as you may have guessed from a post titled “the boyfriend”…part of this is the boyfriend.
It’s the weirdest thing. I have blogged, talked, tweeted, facebooked, skyped, and texted about previous paramours to no end, but when I start to talk/write about the current Boyfriend, words fail me.
But when I leave his company, I’m more motivated than before.
And Saturday night, we went out together and we danced. And we laughed. And we had so. much. fun.
I was not aware you could have actual fun with your boyfriend.
And when people tell me he’s crazy about me, I tell them right back that it’s definitely mutual; that I’m crazy about him too. And then they look at me in shock, that I would be so open with my feelings.
And when I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, he made me theraflu and came to lay down with me (until he realized that I was in need of actual REM sleep, then he got up and did his thing and let me sleep).
And sometimes I think about how I want to write poems on love and hand-written notes. And how often my friend replies with “that’s ideal” when I tell her about the times we spend together.
And how it’s easy. It’s actually easy. We liked each other and we decided to be together,
then we did.
We’re going night skiing tonight.
How exciting is that?