Tag Archives: Beauty


I was just in my bathroom pre-pooing my hair (BTW when did we start conditioning our hair before we wash it? I been natural 3 years and this is the first year I heard that terminology).


I was just in the bathroom pre-pooing my hair and it occurred to me: why the hell do people tout the wash-n-go for natural hair? When I first did my Big Chop, everyone told me “oh now you can wash n go like the white girls,” and I was thrilled, but you know what I had to deal with? Chronically dry hair that would lead to breaking.

When I was relaxed, a beautician once told me that our hair grows better when it’s dirty because all of the oils get the chance to store and I ascribed to that because it was convenient and do you know what? My freaking hair shot out of my freaking head. It was ridiculous; my hair would grow and it would grow fast and it would grow healthy from root to tip.

Since being natural, split ends have been a huge problem with me, as has keeping my hair moisturized, and a while ago it clicked: at least one of the contributing factors to this problem is the fact that I am over-washing my hair (and even co-washing it). 

When relaxed, never liked the way my hair looked until at least like day 4 after a wash; that’s right around when all the products are setting in and it’s starting to be trained. Since I’ve gone back to my pre-natural washing schedule, I have noticed the same in my natural hair–the dirtier it gets, the better it looks and feels. 

So I am just throwing it out there as an alternative–even the co-washes every couple days might be too much for your hair. I mean after all, keeping natural hair moisturized is a pretty widely-acknowledged issue in the natural community. Maybe if your natural hair is chronically dry like mine tends to get, try letting it keep the oils it’s accumulated for a while. 


Straight-Hair Gyal


So I’ve been natural for like three years. If you peep the avi, you’ll see what that looks like. At least, if I do a twist-out anyway. And the photo above is the result of like 4 hours with a flat-iron last night. So for today, in this Virginia Summer Humidity, I am struggling to remain a straight-hair gyal. It’s a true pain-in-the-ass; however, (yes, that really did feel like it warranted a semicolon), I hadn’t seen myself with straight hair since November and I was itching to see how much it had grown, plus it needed a trim, etc. etc. 

But I really said all that to say this: I was talking to this Asian guy on friday who I think is so cute, but he is not really aware of the fact that I am a datable woman. He just doesn’t see me like that. And I was telling him that I don’t really get a lot of guys from other races to look at me. They more like look through me (hint hint). And he told me that’s because I need to style myself in a way that appeals to other races.

His examples: Beyonce and Alicia Keys, two black women who are appealing to other races. He says the reason why is because they have managed to somehow transcend their blackness; that you look at them and you’re not even aware of the fact that they’re black. Which is what makes them attractive. Ipso facto to get guys from other races to see me as attractive, I have to negate my physical blackness.

Ya following?

It’s my blackness that makes me unattractive to other races.

And also I’ll probs have to straighten my hair.

And I mean I took it with a grain of salt; that’s my friend and he was being honest. 

But damn. 

This is why I stay natural.

Truth be told I DON’T feel nearly as pretty or put-together with my ‘fro. It has shot my confidence way down these past 3 years–my entire life, I’ve been the girl with “pretty hair.” Now I’m the girl who would be pretty if I would do something with that hair. It don’t feel good.

But the way other people see my hair is fucked up too. I have a neighbor who damn near drooled on himself when he saw my hair straight. Before, with my curls, I was alright. But now we can’t be friends till I get those curls back–with straight hair I’m too gorgeous and tempting for his married ass.

It’s fucked up. We are like the only race of women whose hair that naturally grows out of their head is considered fundamentally ugly (that’s a sweeping generalization. Forgive me). I am a woman who, unless I radically alter the texture of my hair, is considered less attractive, unpolished, not put-together.

I feel all of these things when I look in the mirror at my fro.

But I also feel like it’s so fucking wrong that I’m made to feel like that that I just can’t give in and relax (straighten permanently) it. Society will just have to deal with me and my fro and hopefully little by little people’s eyes will be trained so that eventually they will be able to look at me and other natural women like me and see that we are beautiful, we are polished, and we actually spend a fuck ton of time and money on these damn afros. Do you have any idea how much natural hair products cost?! Ridick!

I’m done. 


Soaps and Post-Apocalyptical Retirement Plans

That ain't right


And no, I don’t mean soap operas.  

Though I do sometimes enjoy getting a 15-minute drama fix over lunch.  

No, what I mean is soap as in bodily cleanser. As in…isn’t it, like, volcano lava or something? I think I read that somewhere.  

At any rate,  

I have a mild obsession with soaps.  

I was trying to count the different types of soaps I own this morning in the shower. Sticking strictly to bar soap, and naming only the different types (not the number of bars I own of each type), I own Ayurvedic soap, seaweed soap, shea butter black soap, oatmeal soap, Dove sensitive soap, Tone soap and some other acne-treating organic shea butter we’ll-donate-$1-to-a-charity-through-the-purchase-of-this-soap, soap.  

I watched “Hoarders” yesterday. Anyone ever seen that show? About all the people whose addiction to stuff has pretty much destroyed their lives?  

Is this how it begins?  

That’s a lot of soap, guys.  

And I’m not even going to talk about the number of oils, shampoos, conditioners, perfumes and lotions that are all stashed on various shelves in my apartment.  

But I need all those different soaps! The Ayurvedic one is like stepping into a Spa. I’ve actually stopped wearing perfume because I don’t want anything messing up my Ayurvedic vibe–seriously guys, it’s sooo relaxing and my bathroom smells all Ayurvedic even when I come home after work. And the seaweed soap? I need that too! It’s an exfoliant and I read on the box it has restorative enzymes or something. Anyway, I heard that seaweed is like super nutritious and you know your skin’s your biggest organ–doesn’t it make sense that you would give it natural nutrients?  

And the organic black shea butter soap? It’s the end of summer guys–I have to make sure that the tans I got from the sun are properly infused with moisture and then evened out on my skin. The oatmeal and other fancy one? I don’t know–I haven’t opened them yet. But I heard that oatmeal baths where the business back in the day for treating body acne and stuff…I’ll admit, I’ve had pimples on places other than my face. But the Dove and Tone, those are the really important ones. Those are the ones that come in multiple packs, the ones I’m saving for something we all hope will never happen: 

The end of the world. 

Book of Eli-style. 

I’m not sayin I want it to happen, but that movie has taught us all that if it ever does, people are going to be very dirty and soaps are going to be treated as currency. I’m just sayin’. Those Dove and Tone bars might just be my retirement plan.