Tag Archives: Productivity (linguistics)

Midnight Wit


There is this, like, women’s Christian blogger/tweeter named @heatherlove that I follow, and I really like her mainly because I like the way she talks. I like her voice (y’all writers know what I mean).

And my absolute favorite thing about her is that she calls all men that you know you’re not going to marry “randoms.” I think this is freaking brilliant, like epiphany-level shit. Yes. Let’s distinguish. Not every motherfucker you meet or date or whatever deserves a name.

As my guy friend D would say, first of all, no guy is special.

But beyond that, some of these mofos are just downright not that important or memorable. And it doesn’t have to be about liking them or disliking them, it’s just about that feeling that you have about someone before you cover it with other shit like “oh but I like him”; it’s just about that initial feeling that instantly tells you “oh this fool is temporary.”

That, my friends, is what constitutes a Random, or rando as I like to call them for short.

Randal the Random if I’m trying to be funny.

Anyway I said all that to say that tonight I was talking to a random on fb and he was saying that he couldn’t sleep and I told him to do something productive. He goes “I can’t.” I ask why.

“Because you’re not here with me.”

At which point I had to pause and ask myself two things: 1) does this rando know the meaning of “productive”? and 2) do I want to call him on this?

Well maybe because earlier this week I was pretty damn rude to a guy and thought I perhaps didn’t have to be so rude (left in the middle of a hangout sesh bc he wouldn’t rub my back [it’s not that simple, but so what if it is it’s not that hard to rub a beautiful woman’s back and anyway what was I doing in the middle of a hangout sesh that should have been a date ANYWAY]), I decided to take the elegant route:

Me: …productive? haha not REproductive, productive (in my mind: fool).

Situation: diffused. And I’d like to think I made a difference in his life. Which ironically would have made our conversation pretty damn productive. For him.


I am soooo much better when I am writing. Face-to-face interaction is just waayy too immediate for me.